For many couples who are trying to conceive, physically intrusive tests and investigations mean that they can never think quite the same way again about the most intimate aspects of their bodies.
In addition, many couples use temperature charts or ovulation predictor kits, which predict ovulation by measuring the surge of luteinising hormone (LH) or oestrogen just before ovulation, to help time intercourse. Sex can then become a weary chore, undertaken when the date is right, even if both partners' libido has evaporated.
Unfortunately, if they are not successful in conceiving, sex becomes associated with failed procreation month after month. This negative cycle is well known by fertility experts. According to The Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists: "Timing intercourse to coincide with ovulation causes stress and is not recommended." Stress of any kind can have all sorts of negative effects on your relationship, including knocking your sex drive and decreasing how often you have sex, which is not going to help you.
Am I Pregnant?
Ironically, studies also show that the continued use of temperature charts and ovulation predictor kits does not improve your chances of getting pregnant naturally in the first place. Charts can provide other sorts of useful information about the length of your cycle and how regularly you ovulate but when it comes to timing intercourse, you may find that your fertility specialist advises you to steer clear of them.
Instead, some experts advise focusing on making love during your non-fertile times, when the emphasis cannot be on baby making. You're only fertile a couple of days each month, so you can use the rest of the time to enjoy each other sensually and sexually. Do some of the things you used to enjoy with each other physically, whether that means long lingering French kissing, massage, or an impromptu "roll in the hay". Why not spend time rekindling your romance by arranging a candle-lit dinner or a weekend break. All these things may bring some of the closeness back into your relationship.
Most couples actively trying for a baby and having regular sex will become pregnant within one year. The emphasis is on regular because having sex every two to three days throughout your cycle will ensure that a supply of sperm is in the right place whenever you ovulate. Simply knowing this and allowing yourself to stop focusing on your "fertile window" may bring some of the spontaneity and joy back into your physical relationship.
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