Unplanned Pregnancy

When you first realize you are pregnant you can be overwhelmed with emotion. Your emotions may range from excitement to ambivalence or distress. This pregnancy may be at a time when you may or may not be ready to raise a child or it may be at a time that you have been looking forward to for years.

However, if you are facing a reality of an unplanned pregnancy, you will need some information to help you with your decision about what to do next. Is adoption or termination of pregnancy (abortion) right for you? You are now faced with difficult choices that can be a life changing decision.

"How to make these difficult decisions?"

Your decision will be based on several factors and may be influenced by your medical health, personal values, beliefs, and your current life situations. First, you need to schedule an appointment with your doctor to confirm that you are pregnant and how many weeks the pregnancy has progressed.

Am I Pregnant?

Once your doctor has confirmed that you are pregnant and the length of your pregnancy, you will have many questions. At this visit, take the time to discuss your questions with your doctor including the following:

• Do you have any medical problems that propose a risk to the fetus?
  
  
• Did the doctor notice any signs that something could be wrong with the pregnancy?
  
  
• Are there limitations to your options based on the number of weeks of your pregnancy?
  
  
• What will the choice you make now mean for you later in life?

The decisions that you make now about your unplanned pregnancy will be with you for your entire life. You may not want to make your decision by yourself, so seek help and consultation. Talk with your partner, family and friends about your feelings. Look to doctors, family planning clinics and counselors for professional help as well.

If your decision is to continue your pregnancy and raise a child, you will want to start prenatal care as soon as you can. The earlier you start your prenatal care, the healthier your baby will be.

If you want to deliver your baby, but you have determined that you do not want to raise a baby, adoption may be a good choice for you.

However, if you do not decide to continue with your pregnancy, the earlier you seek medical help to have an abortion performed, the safer the procedure.

As you are making your decision regarding your unplanned pregnancy, you will have many questions. Some to consider are:

• How are you going to care for your newborn? Do you have partner and family support to share the responsibility of a baby? Will you be able to hire part-time or even full-time nanny help?
  
  
• Babies are a 24 hour a day responsibility requiring a lot of work. Do you have the emotional and physical stamina to manage this parenting role?
  
  
• Are you able to financially handle the cost of raising a child? Things to consider are childcare, medical care, diapers, clothes, food and education. Data shows the average American will spend a few hundred thousand dollars to raise a baby from infancy to adulthood.
  
  
• Will you be able to accept how being a parent will change your lifestyle? Parenting will have effects on your relationships, social life and career.

Adoption the Option

If, after considering parenthood, you have determined that you do not want to raise a baby, adoption may be a good choice for you. You may have concerns about the ability to provide and care for your baby or you may want to give your child a better life than you could at this time. The decision of adoption is a very difficult choice. In making this decision, be sure the choice is your own and not a decision based upon pressure from your peers. Before you make the decision of adoption, ponder the following questions:

• Can you be a mother or are you just "not ready"?
  
  
• Can you manage the feelings and emotions of giving up your baby?
  
  
• What about your partner? Is he supportive about adoption?

Adoption is permanent and should not be taken lightly or considered quickly. Give yourself plenty of time to make your decision. Talk with your partner, family and friends about the possibility of having your baby placed for adoption. Ask for their thoughts and feelings, but remember, the ultimate decision is yours.

If you decide to go through the adoption process, be prepared for the involved legal paperwork and the emotions it brings when creating the adoption plan. The first thing you need to do to start the adoption process is to contact an adoption agency or adoption lawyer.

Your lawyer will then help you develop an adoption plan. An adoption plan allows you to influence various stages of the adoption process. Designing an adoption plan allows you to determine many aspects of the baby’s adoption process. You can choose to select the adoptive parents, determine if you want contact with them, choose to have the adopting parents at the baby’s birth and define if you want to see your baby after it is born.

After your adoption plan is finished, the next step is to let your lawyer know when you are in early labor and going to the hospital. After your baby is born, you and the baby's birth father will sign the final papers and your baby will leave the hospital with its new parents.

There are three different types of adoption: open, semi-open and closed. When creating your adoption plan you will have to choose the adoption type. Let us help explain the difference between the three types:

In an open adoption the agreement between you and the adoptive parents allows you to meet and share names and addresses.

The semi-open adoption allows meetings between you and the adoptive parents before the paperwork is signed. But once everything is finalized no more contact is allowed.

A closed adoption does not allow any exchange of identity or other information between you and the adopting parents.

After you deliver and give your baby up for adoption, you will need support. Leaving the hospital without your baby will be emotionally difficult. You will be able to get help and support from your physician, adoption agency, family members and friends.

Abortion.... ??

If your decision is to not continue your pregnancy, your physician may perform an abortion ("induced abortion"). An abortion is usually performed before week 12 of pregnancy. The longer you wait to make your decision and have an induced abortion, the more complications and risks are associated with it. Therefore, your decision should be made as early as possible.

Induced abortions are done either by surgery or by medication. Your doctor will explain to you the risks and benefits with each type.

The known risk of having an abortion is less than the risk for giving birth to the baby. However, having an abortion, as with all surgeries, has risks. Death has even been associated with the procedure. The earlier you have an abortion, the less chance there is for complications. Having a therapeutic abortion surgery does not decrease your chance of getting pregnant in the future.

Having an abortion is a physical and emotional experience. You will need support during this time of hormonal and emotional changes. Talk to your doctor about your concerns. Whether you keep and raise your baby, give it up for adoption, or have an abortion, these decisions can be made easier if you ask for help early during your unplanned pregnancy.

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